I'm starting to think that folks out there think I'm lazy or a terrible time manager, and perhaps its true- I don't know how some women juggle it all. My house would be total chaos if it weren't for my somewhat organized husband. Between baby and housework and squeezing in a weekly update (if I'm lucky), this year is zipping by and I feel a little dumbstruck.
I took Ingrid to a cheap mall-studio type photographer for 6 month photos (well, she was closer to 7 months by the time we got there) and it hit me- the "baby" year is halfway over, my production level has been slashed in half, and I don't remember the last time I got a haircut. (The haircut was quickly remedied when I asked my Mum to slash a few inches off, but I'm still unfashionably frazzled). I feel compelled to make the most out of every second I'm with Ingrid, and I'm sure that comes from losing two siblings to childhood cancers. Maybe I'm going a little too far though, and not giving her enough space to be independent.
Amidst this all, I took up lace knitting because I need something intellectually stimulating. I've got brain sludge coming out of my ears and I think I can quote certain passages from certain Dr. Seuss books easier than I can remember the author of the last adult-ish novel I read.
Finally, however, there's a little bit of light at the end of this tunnel- Ingrid has FINALLY started to sleep through the night- about 4 times a week. When she does wake up, she's usually ravenously hungry and will nurse for 20-30 minutes like she's in some kind of eating competition, so letting her self-soothe really isn't an option. She's still in the 20th percentile for weight, so I feel like I should feed her all the time to fill in those funny skinny baby arms. I remember reading in one of my parenting books something that suggested that most babies *should* sleep through the night at 8 weeks, and here I am at 7 months post-birth, finally getting a few solid nights of shut-eye each week.
Oh, and the lace knitting bit- it's wonderful! The first pattern I'm doing is Travelling Woman by Liz Abinante, and I'm slightly reluctant to call it lace since it's so far a simple ripple. Maybe I'll pull my hair out and scream LACE when I get to chart B, which looks slightly more complicated. I'm half-way through the shawl right now, and have already picked out pattern #2, Blackbird by Kieran Foley of Knit/Lab. Pictures coming soon, but don't be too harsh! I'm not a very good knitter, so I'm sure my lace will be pure wack for the first few projects at least.
Liz, enjoy Ingrid, love here and don't worry about time management during this formative year of your daughter's life. When she begins sleeping thru each night you will feel better but don't let a book tell you she should be sleeping all night thru already. I had a friend whose baby didn't sleep thru the night for 2 years. She was exhausted. He had a normal childhood. He's 30 now and they are both doing fine. Not all babies do it by the books. It'll be alright. I recall for myself feeling the need to be among adults more. I had the good fortune of being at home with my son until he was 18 months old before I went to work. We were dirt poor but it was a special time. If I could go back and change a moment of it, it would be this, that I would have gotten us out among other moms and babies even one hour a week to socialize. It would have been good for both of us. Once again, even though we didn't do that, we survived intact. It'll be OK. You are doing great.
ReplyDeleteYou rock, Liz. Seriously, I don't know how you manage to be a full-time mommy AND create such lovely fiber art. Oh, and Ingrid is a doll.
ReplyDeleteThanks to both of you for your comments! I feel so lucky that I'm able to be at home with Ingrid 24/7, even if that means that chaos reigns in the business :D
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